Postpartum Doulas Don't Do What They Advertise

Edited April 1, 2017...
This week's blog is a special "guest blog". The author wishes to remain anonymous at this point in time. I can tell you that she is a mother, Doula advocate, and survivor of postpartum depression. Doula Sonja had the pleasure of supporting her family for many months, after the birth of their second child.
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~ Doula In The Wild

Postpartum Doulas have an incredible task of caring for baby and supporting the mother.  This sounds, can I say, “like a fun job.”  It sounds like making sure mom eats, snuggling baby, providing breastfeeding support and leaving the family feeling cared for.  It sounds like leaving mom feeling supported, fed and baby snuggled.  It sounds like what Doulas always advertise.  Postpartum Doulas can’t replace family support; they can offer a different level of support that isn’t better, it is just different and often much needed for new mothers.
 
What they do not advertise is what my Doula did, what my Doula knew and why she will always have this huge, special place in my heart.
She did not advertise coming in to help me pick up the pieces of my postpartum.
 
She did not say “I will be someone who can come in and gently ask you about postpartum depression.”
She will probably spot the signs of postpartum depression before you do.
 
She did not say “I will sit and listen to you talk just so you have someone to talk to and the loneliness can be kept at bay a little bit longer.” 
She knows new moms can feel lonely.
 
She should have advertised “I will come into your home and make you laugh, telling you funny stories about life as a Doula and my crazy life as a mother of three.” 
She knows you need to laugh.
 
She did not share “I will share some of my own personal struggles so that you don’t feel so alone, you’ll feel more like a human and normal mother.”
She knows that struggling in motherhood is common.
 
She did not tell me on the phone “I won’t judge you when you stop breastfeeding. I will help you sterilize bottles the proper way and support you in your journey as a mother, however it looks.”
She knows she doesn’t need to have an opinion on how you feed your baby.
 
“I will be silent and let you nap and wear your baby so he feels warm and snuggled, while I help you with laundry so you don’t feel so overwhelmed.”
She knows that taking care of the house right now feels impossible.
 
She didn’t tell me “I will be very interested in your health and mental well being and ask you about more than the baby.”
She cares about how YOU are doing first and foremost.
 
“I will know you are struggling and I will know that you will get through it and be the first one to celebrate when you do.”
She is amazing.
 
I needed my Doula.  I needed her to make it through my postpartum journey.  Postpartum Doulas don’t do what they advertise, thank goodness for that.